Believe in Yourself to Be Yourself
It’s taken me 34 years to learn to believe in myself. And what a waste of time not believing in myself has been.
Not believing in myself led me into an identity crisis that lasted years.
Not believing in myself made me wander aimlessly for most of my life, forming unhealthy attachments to people, places, and situations that I thought would save me from myself.
But they didn’t save me. Instead, they left me lost, confused, and disempowered.
I didn’t know who I was, or what I wanted. I had no vision for my life.
I quit my job in search of “freedom”, but without clarity around where I was going, I floundered and experienced failure after failure.
Every door I opened seemed to have a brick wall behind it. I woke up every morning with crushing anxiety — everything felt so unnatural, so forced, and I hated every minute of it.
Eventually, I gave up. I ran out of money and I had zero income. It was one of my darkest moments.
And, in the darkness, the seed was planted.
And, like the seed, I waited.
Like the seed, I began to grow. Day by day, step by step.
And, as I stepped, I trusted. Even though I was surrounded by darkness, I trusted I was growing to the light.
And, as I trusted, I reached the light. I still felt small and weak, and I still had such a very long way to grow.
But, looking back at the darkness from which I came, I began to believe.
Like the seedling, I understood the secret to growing and big and strong.
The secret to thriving and reveling in my own glory.
The secret was to be true to myself. To grow toward the light without worrying about what the other plants were doing.
To trust that each day I take the right steps at the right time.
Even if others are growing faster.
Even if their fruits or flowers are different from mine.
To be true to myself, I had to believe I could become a beautiful flower, even when I was just a tiny seedling.
I could have saved a lot of time and heartache if I had learned to believe in myself years ago.
Instead, I wasted decades in the shadows of self-doubt.
Even so, I believe it was a blessing. All the experiences I had during that time have made me who I am today.
They led me home to myself.
And, like the seed that sprouts weeks after the others have established themselves as plants, I grow, trusting that I am on time.
Do you have a story of overcoming self-doubt?
Or maybe you want to learn to believe in yourself but don't know where to start?
Let me know in the comments.